Week 4 - Food Obsession

Wow, it's the start of week 4 already!

It's also the start of a new year for me, as today I'm 34. When I think about it, I've been concerned about my weight for nearly half of my life. Today is no different, as I struggle with the dilemma that arrives on every birthday - to eat cake, or not to eat cake? To indulge, or act like it's just another day? That's the problem with having a birthday in January (always a big diet month), and being a complete foodie. Food is how I've always celebrated the high points in life, and how I've consoled myself in low moments. I know that I've got to change this relationship.

It's funny to consider that I have a relationship with food, but there's no denying that I do. In fact, it's the one  relationship I need to fix - and since my human relationships are healthy and happy, why not work on this one?

I'm tackling this situation much like I'd tackle an unhealthy human relationship: separate, contemplate, replace/renew.  First, I’m going to focus on separation: stop connecting food to emotions. Because I’ve always celebrated and commiserated with food, this will be the toughest task. I find happiness/excitement in going out to dinner; I find comfort in a warm bowl of mac n’ cheese on a bad day. When my fiance lived out of state, my band-aid for loneliness/sadness took the form of potato chips or chocolate cake. And, because I was often bored and lonely, I would fill the time with researching new recipes or indulging in favorite ones. 

These past few days, I’ve had to really separate myself from food. Otherwise, the single day of my birthday could snowball into 4, 5, 6 days of overindulgence under the “celebratory umbrella.” It’s been hard - really hard. Especially when things that seem normal, like eating a piece of birthday cake, end up compromising the day’s points. It’s why I’m thankful for the WW tracking system, as I was able to see that eating an entire piece of cake wasn’t an option today...but that eating a few bites AND enjoying the company of my coworkers could be enough of a celebration. 

A last thing - my birthday present to myself was a digital scale, which, awesomely, arrived in the mail today! I’m excited to have a much more reliable version of a tool that will useful on my path to permanent weight loss.

It's going to be a great week!